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Love according to St Thomas and Catholic doctrine is an intention to do or not do what is best for others and an intention to be in union with them. This shows the utter hypocrisy of Christians who claim to love everybody for it is humanly impossible to work for real union with everybody. Also, if the Catholic Church is such a great union then why are there divisions among Catholics? Its an artificial union!

Kant argued that we cannot love people if we merely treat them as a means and not as ends - ie as important in themselves and not because of anything they do. This is Christian doctrine as well.

Treating people as an end means you can never hurt them and not even in the name of punishment. Perhaps not punishing will be worse for them and for others. The notion of persons being ends tells us that everybody should be made happy and blessed no matter what they do but in our imperfect world this sadly is not possible. Punishment would be a necessary evil. It is a necessary evil for though the person should be happy making her or him happy will only give out the message that he or she should be allowed to hurt others so failing to punish is bad. But nobody can know if it will be so those who preach love are really hypocrites. It is interesting how religion assumes that it knows. The atheists say we assume that not punishing will be worse and assume it on the grounds that mundane earthy reality encourages us to. There is no room for saying that God may heal or do miracles or that prayer will help. To bring those into the dilemma would mean you have no real reason at all to think its helpful to cage terrorists. Perhaps the terrorists will be changed by the power of God. That thought is purposefully omitted. Religion itself turns atheist in the issue. It agrees with the atheists. Punitive justice is the gravest ethical issue there is. Even religion assumes miracles do not happen because it wants to uphold punitive justice. It does not love sceptics of miracles for it accuses them of assuming that miracles do not happen without basing their disbelief or scepticism on the evidence when in the gravest matter it is guilty of what it falsely accuses sceptics of!

Is it true that working for and intending the wellbeing of others is loving them? Is it really treating them as ends only?

No. The real and only end is to fulfil your intention. An intention is just an intention. It is about wanting something to happen. It is not about if something is good or bad. If the intention is good, the good is not built into the intention for intention and goodness are not the same thing.

No. You always treat others as a means to fulfil your intention.

No. Treating others because they are ends not means is impossible. You judge them as ends thus you treat them as ends because of that judgement only. To treat people as ends means you do it because they are ends and not because you judge them to be.

No. Do you treat others well because they need to be treated well or because some standard, love, says you must? What if they do not need to be treated well? And if you do it for the sake of the standard you are not thinking of them as important but are thinking of the standard as important. You end up treating them as a means to fulfilling the standard.

Christians say they believe that God loves them for trying to do their best. This contradicts their teaching that he loves them unconditionally.

Human beings are horrendous judges of unconditional love. We think our pets and babies love us unconditionally but that is nonsense. It is demeaning to assume they should or do. We cannot expect it of them.

Unconditional love is really an illusion. Unconditional love is self-deception.

Conditional love values the person not as a person but as long as he or she does or is certain things.

Some would say that love is just doing your best to value others. If you canít manage to value them much and it is not your fault then you can say you love them in the sense that you are trying. This thinking is incorrect.

Jesus forbade you to love yourself with all your heart.  You are not allowed to love your spouse, or your child, or your mother or father with all your heart.  You are to love them as yourself. 

We often do ourselves harm.  When we harm others we harm ourselves for it leads to misery for ourselves.  So Jesus' teaching is uninspirational and really a burden to those who want to love.  The humanist should love humanity with all her heart.  The Christian following Jesus is expected to love God with all her or his heart as Jesus commanded it.  If you feel you love your mother more than yourself that is a sin.  If you want to love anybody more than yourself and that would make you happiest it is still vilified as a sin.  Such doctrines are vile.  The teaching of Christ masquerades as wisdom but it is simply vulgar religious bullying with a thick sugar-coating.