PRINCIPLE 3, TO LOVE YOURSELF ALONE IS ONLY RIGHT
The Third Principle of Self-love is that love for yourself alone is only right
and nothing else is possible and nothing else can cause you to be happy.
Egoism is the doctrine that I should be selfish in a way that harms none
intentionally. Egotism is the doctrine that I should be selfish and harm others
if I want to. Altruism is the doctrine that I should not love myself but just
love other people. Altruism is one and the same thing as sacrifice and declares
that love is sacrifice. You have to believe in and follow one of these. You
cannot move from one to the other and you have to stick with one. It would be
inconsistent to egoistically make a grand meal for yourself and say you believe
in altruism too while an altruist would prepare the meal for a friend. Because
you cannot be happy if you do not use your head carefully for reason is in you
for your self-preservation, the strongest instinct you possess, logic says
choose egoism. It is best for you and for others.
When I sacrifice, I nevertheless do what I want to do under the circumstances so
it is not a sacrifice for I am after gratification. When I say I want a car it
is not the car that is important to me but the desire for the car and I have the
desire for one end, self-gratification. Anything I do, I feel I want to do. Even
when I hate doing it I feel it is best to do it under the circumstances so I
like it more than I hate it. This is a very comforting thought. Be aware that
when you are doing something that makes you feel bad that you want to do it more
than not to and focus on this fact. This makes you feel happier about it. It
makes you feel free and cherish that feeling. It helps you get over it.
I cannot help loving only myself and nobody else. When I say I love somebody I
only mean I like what they do for me and enjoy my feelings and thoughts for
them. I do not value them. I value myself because it is my delights I value.
Therefore altruism is not an option.
The new fashion expressed in the view that doing good for others because you
enjoy it and want to help them is unselfish is seriously mistaken. If you want
to be unselfish, or altruistic as it is sometimes called, you have to believe
that you should do nothing for yourself but just do it all for others and that
the more you suffer to help others the better and if you should suffer so much
then you should walk ten miles to get somebody a glass of milk if they ask you.
Why? Because if helping others because it gives you emotional fulfilment is
unselfishness then looking for money for yourself has got to be unselfishness as
well for the motive or goal is the same: gratification. It is only the focus of
your desires that is different and it is the motive that counts in determining
if an action is selfish or unselfish. Unselfishness, thankfully, is impossible
though there are disordered forms of selfishness that are disguised as
unselfishness.
Those who tell you that you must sacrifice yourself and be altruistic or to love
God or others are destructive to your self-esteem for they are telling you that
you are only good if you can do the impossible.
