Adversity theory - how this psychological tweak is mistaken for God's action

The adversity theory in its strong form says that the worse the trauma you get in life the more you will grow and develop. The weaker form says there is no will about it. It simply says you can grow. Research has repeatedly shown that weaker version to be correct. Commonsense shows it as well. Incredibly, the strong version though it has a lot of anecdotal support is shown to be suspect by research and personality tests. Naturally people are going to boast of how they came through being assaulted viciously and through a cancer battle and so on. Usually friends of the subjects who are being tested speak the real truth: the development is exaggerated and parts of it are even imagined. There is social pressure to make out that you are a hero or should be one for people like victim to hero narratives.

God goes with the idea that he lets terrible things happen to you but is with you all the way so you can grow.  So why is the strong form the least popular one?

The answer is that people are just growing anyway and boasting how they let God change them.

We are so good at adapting that we see it as a miracle though it is none and people who don't pray or seek miracles manage to adapt too. A mass murderer may adapt to prison surprisingly well. It is a problem for morality how you can break a person's neck and they adapt and you can give them a million pounds and they cannot cope.

God is that which you are not allowed to adapt to losing. It is an inherently passive-aggressive controlling concept. It reflects on those who propagate it.

Therapists cannot look kindly on those who say that thinking about things a new way helps you to grow in adversity matters not in the slightest as long as you depend on prayer.  The evidence is that people can grow without prayer.

What about growing morally as opposed to emotionally?  Oscar Wilde felt that despite the grand cloak it wears, morality is really just about guiding us how we are treat those who we dislike and hate!  So to think you need to act morally to somebody means you despise them!  Jesus said it is so easy to do good for those who love you that it will get no reward from God.  Jesus then as good as said the same thing!