Church pretends it does not judge those who cohabitate

Some in the Church say that they judge actions not people. They say this is based on the fact that you cannot see the intentions of another. For example, a girl living with the boyfriend is doing great evil in the eyes of the Church but she may be good at heart and not know that living this way is seriously wrong. So the Church says it judges and criticises what she is doing and not her.

The Church is being very crafty here. First, it knows she does not care if it seriously wrong as long as it feels okay. Second, it will learn how well-meaning she is if it says anything - she will be a hellcat. Three, the Church thinks she is trying to divorce her situation and any possible children from marriage which alone expresses real commitment. So how could it not judge her?

Right and wrong are often so well mixed together that it makes no sense to criticise what somebody does. Criticising the action is criticising her - period.
 
The Church might say that perhaps she is under pressure to do this that we don't know about. So in that case, even if she does know it is wrong then it is not her fault. This solves nothing - it merely shows the Church's hypocrisy. In order to discourage judging her, the Church has to plant suspicion. Others or the boyfriend are suspected of compelling her. The evidence that nobody is compelling her is ignored. The lack of evidence that she is being compelled is explained as, "We don't know what goes on behind closed doors." So absence of evidence is evidence justifying suspicion towards people other than her. Suspicion is even worse than judging outright. It is poisonous and subtle and crafty. It is a form of judgment itself. And when pressed the Church will admit that despite appearances, the girl herself can be suspected of malicious and serious sin.
 
Many people are antagonised when the Church tells them to correct their sin. They still feel judged even if the Church claims to do it out of love. The Church admits that part of the problem that no matter how loving correction seems to be, many who correct are in fact being judgemental and are trying to make themselves feel superior. People sense it. But the Church does not admit that even if you do not judge a person guilty of evil and settle for suggesting they may be guilty of it then the perception that those who correct are being smug and pretending they don't judge you as a person is correct. And not just some of the time but all the time. If such suspicion is bad when atheists engage in it, it is worse for religious people to engage in it for they claim that there is a God to be mocked and hurt by sin and that sin risks everlasting punishment! So religious people suspect you of being worse than an atheist can.
 
Better to judge a person as bad than to suspect them of being bad. At least judging them cares about the evidence against them and the truth.
 
This stance of not judging the girl contradicts the Church teaching that God has built in the essentials of right and wrong into everybody's mind and heart. So it follows that even if she doesn't see it as a huge sin she must see it as some kind of sin.
 
This stance only applies to some people - if the girl came from a solid Catholic background clearly the Church cannot pretend that it does not judge her. Ignorance of Church ethics cannot be an excuse.
 
The stance does not reject judging people - it only says you cannot do it because you don't know. So it would follow that you would have the right to judge her if you could see her heart. And the Catholic adores a God who judges her. As God is seen as morality itself it follows that God's judgement towards her is being adored too. If a person finds it very offensive when she or he is being judged, they should still feel that way about the Church saying that in principle judging them is not wrong.
If you don’t believe that God can protect you no matter how bad things get then there is no point in believing in him or worshipping him. But the corollary of this belief is that God must not and should not protect anybody who is sinful. Belief in God is based on spite and smugness.
 
The claim that actions are judged and not people is really about being smarmy and two-faced. Christianity is smarmy and manipulative.