When I am honoured - is it the honour that pleases me or what I am honoured for?

Actually the question should be, how do I get honoured? Others honour me but unless that touches me and somehow gets absorbed by me it is not really honour. Money I have legally but cannot possess is not my money in the sense where it matters.  I take the honour from them to turn it into part of me for it to honour me.  It is my act.

So I am never really personally honoured in the sense that I have to use the honour declared by others to turn it into me honouring myself. All honour is self-honour.

Nobody tells you that so people when honouring you are basing on hiding that from you.

It is them trying to project their self-honour on to you. They think, "How great and morally aware am I? I show it by praising this person."

If I just like being honoured then this is about my ego. If it were possible, I would welcome being honoured for slaying children. It is luck not me when that is not happening. You can be a very productive person for others and helpful and to your horror find yourself inwardly celebrating something evil happening to another.

If it is about what I am honoured for then I am glad that the good I have done was done and am thankful for being honoured for it for I don't want to be churlish to those who wish to celebrate my act. I welcome the honour not for my sake but for the sake of the good and I hope it inspires others to embrace doing good deeds too.

Now if you are embracing that honour for your ego you are not going to admit it. Plus you don't want people to stop rewarding perceived goodness as one day you may need help that people are too de-motivated to give you.
They say that it is never honour that pleases you but what you are honoured for. You cannot simply choose what pleases you - something either pleases you or it does not. You can think you have psychological and spiritually prepared yourself for a wonderful wedding day and still end up deflated. It is luck if you are honoured by people and feel pleased. It is not their honour that pleases you.  It is luck if you can absorb and internalise the honour you are given.
The honour is dishonour in a sense. It is, "I cannot really cause x to feel honoured. Only chance does that. If he feels honoured by me then I am manipulating him. I want him to think it is me." Genuine honour necessarily excludes manipulation. Fake honour to any degree is dishonour.  It will still give good feelings though but feelings mask truths a lot of the time.
Some say, "Perhaps honour and what you are honoured for are BOTH necessary for you to be pleased. If only what you were honoured for pleased you, then the honour would be useless and futile. It would not be about you. You cannot receive an honour unless it means something to you or in other words you mean something to you. That means the honour only has value in so far as you honour yourself and reward yourself in taking it. To accept an honour is to honour yourself."
Ponder that!  It seems they think you get honour and respond by honouring yourself by taking it.  But correlation is not causation.  Honour may be followed by you being honoured by yourself.  But honour is not causing your response.  You are.  We know that people offer you honour but only you can make it honour and that is done by self-honour.  You take it from them to personalise it.  People want to believe they cause your self-honour.  That is their egos at play now.
It is not what you are honoured for that pleases you but the honour! You may tell yourself though that it is all about what you are being honoured for. What is the point of the honour if it is not what pleases you?

Love and honour go together we believe. It is popular to tell people that nobody will love as in look after them or love them as in cherish them if they don’t love themselves. That blames them if they feel neglected and forgotten and if they think they don’t have enough friends. While it is true that the self-hater cannot reap the full benefit of any help, it does not follow that nobody will help them. Parents love their self-hating children.

The selfish side of honour shows that things such as honouring God and religion and the state and different things may feel nice but is inseparable from virtue-signalling.  If you being honoured is about your ego, you cannot give a God honour for you cannot fool him.  If the well is dirty it will not offer you clean water.  You cannot give God clean honour.

Honour is a psychological construct.  Only a deceiving God would set it up.  And as he gives you your desires if he is real, it follows that he is more to blame for what you do than you are.  You cannot control what you want and how it heavily influences you.


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