Self-interest requires that you forget about happiness
MAIN POINTS,
Happiness as in feeling nice and being well will slip away if you work for them
directly for that entails stress and fear.
The method for being happy, and it is a method is to just do good, and not aim
for happiness.
The paradox is that not aiming for happiness is the right way to aim for it. You
tell yourself a lie to get it to work. Lies are anti-God and selfish.
I therefore only need me and this method to take the chance to be happy - God
and religion and Jesus and therapists (sometimes) are taking advantage of me as
in trying to intrude in my job.
I cannot inspire others around me to be happy unless I use the method and be an
example. It is self-interest to promote happiness. Everybody wins.
Happiness is when you become your own God and own authority in the way we have
prescribed.
Altruists who claim to be the people for others and not themselves are using the
method to be happy. They are shamming.
THE DISCUSSION
We know that if we do something and seek nothing back that we find we will
derive happiness from it. Happiness involves being at peace and you cannot have
happiness if you keep wanting it for then you have no peace. If you forget about
it, you get it. You are making yourself happy not by working for it but by
letting yourself be happy. Seeking nothing back is not being unselfish but being
truly self-centred the only way we can be. It is a method and it works.
Forgetting about happiness then to be happy is marketed as altruism and
selflessness. It is anything but.
If altruism makes sense, then we should forget with the intention of being
unhappy. Forgetting about happiness to be unhappy would imply that it is
reasonable for somebody to ask you to carry them on your back from Edinburgh to
London.
Would forgetting about happiness to be neither happy or unhappy be better? You
wouldn't want that. You would be trying to make yourself unfeeling and numb.
You have to forget about happiness to be happy for the alternatives are bad. So
you wouldn't be doing the forgetting unless you believed or felt you were going
to be okay.
Working in order to make yourself feel happy means you are telling yourself you
are unhappy or could be better off so it isn't very positive. It is asking for
less happiness or for misery. And fear will worsen because you can work hard to
get something to make you feel happy and find out you don't feel any better when
you reach your goal.
Giving up the urge to be happy and letting yourself be happy can let you be
happy/happier
WHAT IF SOMEBODY SACRIFICES FOR ANOTHER?
There is a self-manipulation side to this putting happiness out of your head to
be happy. Death does not seem real to the person risking their life who jumps
into the water to save you from drowning and that is why they are able to take
the risk. They enjoy the forgetting and this enjoyment takes over. It is not the
best kind of enjoyment but it is still enjoyment. They forget about happiness to
find happiness. That is their intention despite the consequences.
HAPPINESS IS NOT JUST PLEASURE
It is argued by some that people only do good or bad for the pleasure they are
going to get out of it. But against this it is argued that you can be
self-serving without seeking pleasure. You can seem to be good because you are
after somebody's money even though you know you won’t live long enough to enjoy
the money and don’t particularly enjoy being rich anyway. Happiness is more than
just joy - it is well being. We all want to be in a good place even if it means
not being exuberant!
EGOISTS AND HAPPINESS
Egoists believe in looking after themselves and others for praise or love or
happiness. Egotists are those who do this for even more mercenary rewards such
as money and a good job.
Egoists have to forget about how happy anything will make them feel in order to
allow themselves to be happy. They might not be happy but they will have no hope
of being happy if they focus too much on happiness. This is because feelings are
hard to predict and control. You can be content today and moody tomorrow for no
real reason. You can work all your life for a million pounds thinking it will
make you happy and feel nothing when you get it. The egoist with any wisdom at
all will have to forget about being happy in order to hopefully be happy. Misers
who want a billion pounds knows they have to stop thinking about the billion
pounds if they want it. They have to put it at the back of their mind. Does
their forgetting mean that they are not being selfish or that they are not being
greedy? The egoists are just following the recipe for happiness. That is still
egoism. The egoists are still doing what is best for themselves.
Egoists are certainly not forgetting about happiness in order to be unhappy or
to feel nothing. Egoists must be doing it to feel happy. Egoist's method for
attaining happiness. If egoists enjoy seeing others happy the egoist will not
want to be unhappy or to feel nothing for that is not good for the people they
help. It endangers enthusiasm and they may notice that you don’t really like
helping them.
Becoming a slave for happiness by trying ruins happiness. Back off and happiness
can come. It may not but it can. At least you have opened the door. Happiness in
general can improve for you but so can happiness in specifics. But don't try
anything such as prayer or magic for your potential to be happy is all you have.
It does not do to try and override nature.
It would be great if you just had to stop thinking of yourself to be happy but
that is not the way things are. A God of love would set things up that way but
he does not exist. There are barriers to happiness that you are not aware of and
belief in God is one of them.
It takes a lot of self-challenging and self-knowledge to get your chance to let
happiness find you.
Seeking nothing back means you seek the sense of freedom in return for what you
do and that beats wealth or any other reward. So you seek something back after
all!
INDULGENCE
Happiness can be hard to get if you work for it. You can roll in things that
should make you happy and nothing happens.
Indulgence will not make you happy as it leads to fear even if you don’t realise
it of being mastered by the desire or the object. So if you hold back and then
partake you will find happiness in it. Happiness and self-control go together
and self-control is an ingredient of mature sensible happiness – real happiness.
The interesting thing here is that indulgence need not lead to fear and yet it
does. It is as if the fear is tacked on to it. It follows then we should not
approve of how searching for happiness is disastrous.
FORGETTING DOES NOT GUARANTEE HAPPINESS
Happiness is, according to altruistic and religious "wisdom", a side-effect of
living a life that wants to see others happy. Sometimes it seems as if that is
the case. But you will often do good and feel no better. It cannot be proven
that the happiness really was a side-effect of the action. Two things happening
at the one time does not mean they are connected or the first causes the second.
So I said earlier that putting happiness out of your mind and getting on with
life lets you be happy and now I am saying that the happiness is not necessarily
caused by the distraction?
#Answer 1 - it is an influence rather than a cause - seeing it as a cause is
dangerous for it is too strong and you will never trust yourself to be happy
again if you use the method and happiness does not come or only misery comes
#Answer 2 - happiness is really a set - it's a pile of individual 'happies'.
There is no guarantee that any method will make you happy say with your Monday
morning work start. It's a case by case thing.
You stop yearning and working for happiness. Then happiness comes. Maybe its
just coincidence? Maybe in some cases. You could be mistaking the happiness and
peace that comes from being less attached to things for being some other kind of
happiness. Happy moments always happen to everybody anyway. There is an
influence that comes from being happy that leads to happiness increasing.
SOME CLAIM SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS DOES WORK
There are people who say they search for happiness and that makes them happy.
The conventional wisdom is that they must be lying. It says that people are
happy if they give up the search for happiness.
A less extreme view is that nearly everybody has some happiness which stops them
committing suicide so if you stop trying to be happier it will happen. The idea
is that happiness attracts more happiness. This is actually a beautiful thought
and at a stroke eliminates the need for ideas such as God or religion or Jesus.
It is affirming that your human nature is just what it is and uses happiness as
a magnet for more happiness. There is no magic in this. Happiness just helps you
see other ways and new ways to be happy and new things to be happy about.
It is not true that just working and forgetting about trying to find happiness
in it necessarily makes you happy/happier. It gives you a good chance. It is not
true that it will necessarily keep you as happy as you are.
For that reason seeing happiness as magic or as grace from God is dangerous. You
must avoid the danger of optimism which thinks things will be great when it does
not have enough evidence. Or pessimism which thinks things will be awful without
evidence. Study test and examine and be a realist. A realist avoids either
polarity. The realist is somewhere on the spectrum between them. Realists assume
for the sake of argument and the sake of goals that no amazing coincidence is
going to destroy things and no amazing coincidence is going to result in a near
miracle. The ambition is to be practical. It is not about denying coincidences
but ignoring them. This amounts to denying divine intervention or the power of
prayer for those things are inspired by coincidences - albeit only good ones
which is rather dishonest and unfair.
THE ALTRUIST IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THE HAPPINESS REWARD
Persons who think saving money for a huge mansion to live in will necessarily
make them happy are making themselves slaves to an idea. It cannot work. Because
their goal is not about being a better person, they are considered selfish.
People who let go of attempts to be happy in order to be happy may behave as
better people would, but this good behaviour is only a by-product. Their goal is
to find happiness in itself and not for others even though they do make others
happy. If they needed to make others miserable to be happy they would. Their
service then is not about love or respect for others but utility.
If you forget about gaining happiness, you can get it. Forgetting about
happiness then to be happy looks like unselfishness or selflessness. It is not.
Yet it is the main reason why society thinks altruistic people are so common.
Whether you realise it or not, you are putting your happiness goals out of your
mind IN ORDER TO GET THE REWARD OF FEELING YOU CAN BE HAPPY, ARE DOING THE RIGHT
THING TO BE HAPPY AND GETTING HAPPINESS.
It may be objected that just because you forget about happiness does not mean
you are forgetting as a means to be happy. You are not using forgetting as a
tool to be happy. You might be just forgetting. But you would not be forgetting
unless you believed you would be okay or if you felt it or both.
What if you really do not care if you are happy or not an end up feeling happier
or happy? In fact you should not be happy for there is something warped in
having such a lack of respect for yourself and then being happy.
Those who say they put happiness out of their mind and thus choose to be neither
happy or unhappy are lying. They wouldn't want that. So they wouldn't be doing
the forgetting unless they believed or felt they were going to be okay.
DISTRACTION
If you have a stomach pain you will find that if you sit around wishing for the
happiness of relief you will only make it worse. That wishing keeps your focus
on the pain and that consciousness makes you feel worse and worse. You will find
that if you do something to distract yourself from the pain you will be better
off. This is self-interest. And so is distracting yourself from the painful and
unhappiness making fact that you cannot cause yourself to be and feel happy all
the time. You will achieve that happiness by doing good works not by thinking
about the happiness. Even good works that do not benefit others such as writing
a novel when you have no hope of getting published or acclaimed make you happy.
This is self-interest and it makes you happy!
FINALLY
Happiness eludes those who work to be happy and who use crutches. They
immediately feel better and safer once they let go. Now they can let influences
that make them happy come in.