Catholic Church Wedding?  ... Do you really want it?

The mature attitude for people wanting to get married is, "I don't really care where we marry as long as we marry and do it in front of family and friends. The where does not matter for it Is about the why."

Some "Reasons" for a Church wedding

I want to be the centre of attention for the day.

But the Mass is centred on Jesus not you. The Christian religion stands for the notion that if you have to choose between God and human welfare then choose God. Why not devise your own ceremony? Then you will have the readings and songs and music and the venue all your own way.

I will not feel married unless it happens in Church.

This is outrageous. Marriage is about a legal contract that protects your relationship. Yet there are people who feel married having gone through a Church ceremony that is not recognised by the state. And there are people who feel married by a state ceremony that is not recognised by the Church. The ceremony is not about feeling married but being married. And if you are truly in a committed relationship, a marriage ceremony is not going to add to that. Your attitude shows great immaturity. It is superstitious to think you need a priest to witness your vows.

There is something wrong if making a public commitment before family and friends is not what is important. (Yet religion wants marriage to be primarily getting blessed for promising God to stay together until death.) If it were, if you and your partner mattered enough, having friends and family to see and embrace your commitment would be the only thing that counts. Where or when or in what religion would not even cost you a thought. Your partner will reconsider marrying you if he or she has any sense.

Let us look at further excuses.

I want to marry in the Church for my parents and friends did it.

You may get married in Church for that reason and feel let down. Better to devise your own ceremony and forget about the Church.

It will upset my parents if I have a non-Church wedding.

It is your wedding. Explain that you don't want to be a hypocrite. Say the feeling that you are putting up a pretence will spoil your day and your memories of it.

I find the priest and the parish very welcoming and would love to have the priest marry me in the Church.

Their welcome is conditional. If you want a secular trendy wedding and not a Catholic Church wedding, the Church says you are committing sin. Though you may attend the ceremonies of other religions if they do not wilfully go out of their way to attack the Catholic faith and attend as a guest not as a participant, it is different with weddings. A guest is a participant for a wedding is a public act calling on friends and family as witnesses. The Church forbids attendance at anything when denial of Catholic values is inevitably implied. A real welcome in the Church would mean they support and encourage you even if you want a witch or Jedi wedding.

Church weddings are bunkum and people are seeing that more these days.  They are in decline.  And many weddings that do take place in a Church are unwanted.  People just play along.


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