UNPACKING THE ADVICE TO "LIVE YOUR OWN TRUTH"
In modern society acceptance means everything. Notably people who want to stand out and be celebrated even if it means getting contempt directed at others and their wishes are the ones who shout the loudest that people need to accept them. A lot of it is motivated by how we know that unconditional love is fragile for people say there is a thin line between love and hate and you can have both at the one time. So claiming to give unconditional love comes across as a sickening boast. So people demand it and fear it at the same time.
Many argue that acceptance of a person should not mean the same thing as normalisation. We may be told to accept people who Self-ID as the opposite sex but not normalise it. What this means is that you do nothing to abuse or endanger the person but otherwise you make it clear that you do not consider their way of life to be good for them or society if say most people started to Self-ID. A concrete example is that if they apply for a job you give the job to them if they are not going to be looking for loads of time off for the next decade for trans-affirming treatment.
It is felt these days that if somebody is living a lie you have to affirm that it is not a lie for the sake of their feelings. You have to agree with it for it is unkind not to.
You are told you must live your truth. Some mean by that that truth differs from one person to the next. Others think it means you can make something as good as true even if it is not. Many take both positions.
Now if you can convince yourself that you will never die tragically, that will do nothing to stop the bus hitting you when you cross the road. If you convince yourself of that you will need to do a lot of exhausting work every day for there are risks in all sorts of places all the time. It is easier to admit you can be in danger and that death waits to pounce. If you convince yourself you are, say a God or witch, you won't stop there. You risk putting yourself in danger.
The live my truth person in fact does not really live their truth except in certain things. It is easy for a person to claim to be some kind of special identity but they don't claim to be the kind of being that can leap off a cliff and remain unharmed.
This "live my truth" means in practice that what I think of me is what matters. Everything is about who I am not who my people are. While you might affirm a person living their truth you cannot affirm them living a God's truth. That is giving their autonomy and their truth away.
As an atheist, I should insist that people find the truth and own it and internalise it. When you do that you don't need to cherry-pick what truths you own or invent non-truths and call them your truths.
Affirming a person who owns "their truth" is still linked today by some to unconditional love. Those who want unconditional love fear conditional love for they think they don't deserve it. And they really want unconditional support no matter what they do. Those who would not dare ask the community to support them if they are going to blow up a school with the children in it, would dare ask God to do it for that is between him and them. There will be no backlash. People won't admit it but they simply have to be using God to affirm and support whatever they do at least in some things.
We have found that a person who is mainly about a God cannot be included when it comes to the wisdom of "own your truth". As anybody can start getting devoted to God, we have a situation where, "I love you for living your truth but if you turn to God and give it away I cannot love you anymore." That is not unconditional love. And it is not love to love them for giving it away either. This unconditional love boils down to a warm glow and its good for nothing. No wonder psychologists have pointed out that if unconditional love means sending the message, "Nothing you do matters or is important", and, "Anything goes" it is really just laziness with warm feelings. It is not love at all but laziness.
Many who say they in fact hold to the truth for there is no "your truth" or "my truth" only the truth are lying. For example, Catholicism claims that the killing of the unborn is the worst form of murder but it turns a blind eye if a woman aborts weeks before birth. Says it wants to give her mercy. Now if it really thinks the child is a baby with a right to life then surely it has to assume the child wants justice meaning the woman has to be considered for a life sentence. The mercy is nobody's to give. She didn't abort God so its not of his concern either. Religion forbids us from tolerating evil that is about to happen. Religion seems to think that evil is tolerable only when it is in the past. If time makes a difference then why care if evil is about to happen? If evil is repulsive and rotten and deserving of rancour then past or present or future, it is truly those things.
Notice what is happening with this too. You want to affirm the other person's autonomy but a paradox arises when you affirm them becoming a slave. Unconditional love that condones you throwing your life away loses its shine. It becomes something for the giver to feel smug about but you, the object of this love, are considered to be as good as nothing. It does not matter if you are the loving or God is, this love is poison and a slow one perhaps. But still a poison.
