To Like the Sinner is to Like the Sin
Love the sinner means to not be angry at him or her or to want to see him or her
suffer for sinning. Hate the sin means you have to angrily want their sin to
suffer. If you are not angry with the sinner and love him then you must like
him. If you are angry with the sin then you must dislike it. But you cannot
dislike a moral flaw the same way as you dislike rain. If you really love the
sinner you must like the sin. A sin is a moral flaw. Hating the harm sin does to
a person is not the same as hating the sin. The harm is a side-effect.
Love is not liking (page 75, Ecumenical Jihad). That is what the Catholic Church
says. But that teaching does not wash with most people.
The Church says that love is doing what is in essence putting another before
yourself whether you feel anything for them or not.
I define love as not voluntary sacrifice but as feeling pleasure in the
well-being of myself and others. Those who say love does not necessarily like
are fooling us because you have to at least like a person a tiny hardly
detectable bit to be willing to help them in any way. Love is liking. Love then
is a feeling. It is valuing yourself and not the other person because you only
like them for your own fulfilment and not theirs. Strictly speaking when you say
you like them it is really yourself that you like. Like means you take
pleasure. It is about you and how you use them for you. You like only what is in
them that reminds you of what you like about yourself. It follows then there is
no point in trying to love God for to love him is to put him first and you can’t
do that.
People prefer to be liked than to be loved. The wife who has a husband who
behaves lovingly towards her without emotion will not be happy and will be
unable to appreciate him. She would rather she had a man who made mistakes but
who liked her a lot.
The law given by Jesus saying love your neighbour as yourself is pure hypocrisy.
Catholics say that Jesus means that if you can’t like somebody you can still
treat them as your equal and work for their wellbeing. They say the command is
not about feelings. What would they say if you liked nobody? If nobody liked us
all the dry Christian love in the world will do us no good! The Christians
undermine our humanity with their command. Jesus was at the root of that.
Your love is meant to help people. How can it do that if it is cold and
unfeeling. It won't mean much to them or satisfy them. It makes people see you
as deceptive - doing good while despising them. It is doing good for them while
depriving them of the warmth they need. It is the warmth from you that will gear
them up to looking after themselves better not cold charity. Religion has the
nerve to say that wealth does not buy happiness for it attracts many people into
your life who want to enjoy your wealth and value it and not you. Yet it teaches
that we should do good to people we feel nothing for and expects the recipients
to be happy!
Love your neighbour as yourself sounds good. It looks good and is one of the
principal reasons why the Church never died out ages ago. Expose it and the
Church will wither away. It is better to cherish your neighbour because you
cherish yourself for all love, meaning liking, starts with self-love. You like
yourself and that makes you reach out to help other people for that is part of
liking yourself by making friends. All love is self-love.
If you really love your neighbour as yourself which means that you want to make
your neighbour as happy as yourself then you have to like her a lot. You will
not be of much practical use to your neighbour unless you like her as much as
you like yourself.
If you dislike your neighbour enough and cannot stand her then it is hardly
loving yourself to be kind to her. Jesus who certainly divorced love from liking
never had a clue what he was talking about when he commanded that we love all
people. That is no surprise for the man was definitely mentally ill if he
existed. His doctrines that we could do nothing right unless God helped us to be
good and that we are an evil generation plainly suggest we should not like
ourselves much and in that case we can’t love or like our neighbour much either.
What Jesus and God give with one hand they take away with the other.
So back to the Church. The Church must mean that you can love a person you
really don’t like when it says that love is not liking. Some say that to love
the person you must like the fact that that person is living so you have to like
everybody on some level. That would imply you are not allowed to wish that
person had never came into existence. But you can love while feeling nothing for
the person at all, end of story, if love is not liking.
The Church says that to love God is not to feel love for him but to will what he
wills. We can love God while feeling hatred for him. The heart and the will –
that part of you that does the choosing – do not always agree. If you love God
just to gain some benefit then you don’t love God at all. And if you only help
your neighbour because you like him or her a bit or a lot then you don't love
them.
The Church says there is more love in doing favours for one you dislike
intensely than there is for helping one you like. Why? Because there is a
greater sacrifice and a greater triumph over evil feelings that try to stop you
being kindly. To be less loving than more loving is a sin. It follows that we
should like nobody and the more feelings of hatred we bear towards them the
better. It is a sin to like being loving for that reduces the value of the
sacrifice. The more you dislike God the more you will love him in doing good for
it becomes a really difficult sacrifice.
Even if we can love the sinner and not love the sin we cannot like the sinner
and dislike the sin. Loving sinners means trying to change them not treating
them as if their sin doesn’t matter which would be unloving. Liking them is
feeling that they are great. If they are sinners they are not great. Liking them
is liking their sins too. You don’t mind them doing anyone a disservice as long
as it is not you on the receiving end.
Religion tries to warm people’s hearts by telling them that God loves them no
matter what they do. This is a cunning deception for the people will understand
love to mean liking.
People go on about looking for love but they mean love as in being liked a great
deal. We would rather do without what religion sees as love in order to be liked
than to be loved but disliked. If nobody liked us we would be extremely unhappy
and maladjusted.
Love is selfishness and those who say it is being other-centred are misleading
us.
To dislike the sin is to dislike the sinner. To like the sinner and to love the
sinner properly you have to applaud their immoral natures even if you despise
the harm that may be a side-effect of their actions.
THE WEB
www.shilohcommunitychurch.org/love_sinr.htm
TRUE OR FALSE? GOD LOVES THE SINNER BUT HATES THE SIN, FALSE, Errol Hale
www.ffrf.org/fttoday/back/hatred.html
With Perfect Hatred by Dan Barker
http://www.godhatesfags.com/
A Baptist anti-gay site
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East Sussex, 1995
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