Trans kids, “Everybody hates me for who I am. They don’t want me to exist.”

Affirming means celebrating the believer in God who thinks grace helps them do good and celebrating the atheist whose inner sense of self is that the good is not coming from any grace or God. Affirming means celebrating the child whose sense of self matches the body along with the child whose sense of self does not match the body. In other words, don't accept the trans child while affirming the cis child. Affirm both.

We need to be careful how we decide if organs are healthy.  If your programming has told you or starts to tell you that they are defects or harmful or against who you are they must go.  That is why removing healthy breasts in transmen or sex organs in transwomen is not removing healthy organs.  They may be healthy in some way but in the way a tumour is.  They should not be there.  Calling them healthy organs is transphobic.

Making a child feel she or he or they should appreciate the healthy functional body parts is abuse and triggering dysphonia. The health is a lie.  If God is good and makes that health then fuck him.  He is a liar.

Many people report being in the wrong body but not in a trans sense.  Old people usually do not suffer just because their bodies are wrong in the way a trans person will.  A person with hearing loss does not get a dysphoria that forces them to do something about it.  It is clear that no good God would put a child in the wrong body and make sure that the child is punished for it.  Dysphoria is an unjust punishment.

You hear people say it is not their business if somebody is trans or gay in private. It only becomes their business if it is made public. They worry that with trans you have to change your language and your relationship with the person to recognise their gender. The law may be asked to change too. And often is.

So one thing is for sure, a trans cannot really be trans without it affecting others. The trans person is hurt by erasure or being regarded as a crank or liar. The trans needs you to believe they are who they say they are. We all learn something from each other and a trans may wittingly or unwittingly help your child see they are trans too.

Maybe you don't agree with gender as being different from sex. May be you think biological sex is the only reality. Then you are making out that they want you to lie and to support their lie. You may say that they are possibly unaware themselves that it is a lie. A lie that is not calculated is not a lie as in dishonest but it is no better than a lie and is a lie. Lies whether you realise you are lying or not always lead to lies.

So some refuse to affirm trans, especially trans children for they think it is not real. They may see it as a harmful lie. Indeed lies do risk harm.

Some may refuse for they think it leads to harm for the child and children inspired by the child.
It is argued that if children are put on drugs to block puberty that 99% of them will then go on to have cross-sex hormones. We are told that if the children were left alone 85% would grow out of the need to change gender. One suggestion is that the blockers stop a child from dealing with the gender dysphoria. Then they feel they need the hormones and other medical interventions. My response is that even if that is true the child has a right to choose their gender. So what? That is my answer. 

Trans rights allies talk about how one is assigned a gender at birth. It is provisional until the child decides. Some say a baby or young child cannot have an idea of gender or the expectations that come with gender so you cannot say they were assigned a gender at birth. They propose that we simply stick to identifying what sex the child is.

As human DNA is about making you a being with a sense of self, it follows that how you see yourself genderwise is your biological sex. Talk about chromosomes being male or female is thus irrelevant when you look at it that way. Only the person can tell you what gender or sex they are. For most of us, our chromosomes and genitals etc do say what gender we are. But not all.
Biological sex is really more about what you are in your head than anything else. DNA is behind that. That is why chromosomes do not prove that a man is a man or a woman is a woman. In most cases, it is clear what your biological sex is. In other cases, the DNA puts female mind wiring (psychology) in a male body or male mind wiring in a female body. Both ways of being a biological male or female are equally valid. It is not about normal or abnormal. If you want to use the language of normal, difference is normal. Be careful with normal for normal implies nature is intelligent or has been set up by an intelligence that uses a standard and if you don't match you are a freak. The word is abusing and ignorant.

Another important issue is that biological sex is worked out a certain way but the lived experience of many trans is that their biological sex is not what their bodies or scientific testing claim they are. Science needs to rethink this matter.

If a person thinks they are trans and goes down the trans route and is wrong it does not matter. They have changed their gender and so what?

Trans healthcare is only for a brave person and is riddled with risk. The surgery is a very serious matter. It only makes sense if you say you love yourself enough to stand up to the body that does not love you. It only makes sense if you love yourself enough to stand up and be counted in the body that others condemn as mutilated.

The person who needs some kind of intervention, social or medical or whatever, to be who they are are correcting a lie. Their body is a lie. Unhappiness is guaranteed. Hate may result. This hate is different to somebody just hating a nose they think is too big or who think their body is not thin enough. How? These things are not about who you are. Your gender is. The hate has a positive role - it drives you to do something to be who you are. Hating a body that stops you being you is not the same as hating a body that does not.

The hate is real and many who do not hate their secondary sex characteristics can start doing so any time. We have to remember that dysphoria may express that the body parts should not be there and must be modified at any cost. Sometimes the dysphoria will want it done fast.
So let us be clear, those who say that trans healthcare is about accepting your body are downplaying what you have to go through to get to that place of acceptance. It is about accepting your body at a huge price at the end of seeing your body as an enemy.

The dysphoria may respond to society's oppressive ideas about gender in a way that implants the body hate. For example, a transman with a vagina is not treated the same as a man for not producing sperm. A transwoman with a penis is regarded as in some sense not a woman for she cannot produce eggs. These things will have an impact on the person especially if the person has psychological conditions such as bipolar disorder or depression. The risk of this happening is very serious. It matters a lot even if it is not happening in an individual's life for the point it that it can and might.

The gender dysphoria of some transgirls centres around not being able to grow into the possibility of being a mother as in giving birth. Untold harm is done by society to them. The gender dysphoria of some transboys makes them need to be the sperm provider and all that entails. It will take a lot of work to get the need for a transboy to be a cis boy and a transgirl to be a cis girl to a manageable level. The dysphoria will always be there to varying degrees.

Society triggers dysphoria and it may be ingrained - indirect. Dysphoria may not be down to that implanted in the womb - direct. Either way DNA has something to do with it. It is not dramatic to blame society for making the lives of trans people worse.

Transkids are an important topic for it is about children's lives, real lives. Imposing a cis gender identity or role or a trans one on a young child is abusive for it is not your business even if you are the parent. And especially if you are the parent! Only time tells who, not what, the child is. It is conversion therapy of the worst kind. The parenting version of conversion therapy is worse than going to a "clinic" that does it for it is easy to see the clinic version as abuse. You can just go to another clinic. With parents there is little chance of getting rid. The parenting version of conversion therapy can do as much lasting damage as a clinic one. Or much much worse.

It is possible to suffer from being in the wrong gender and not know it so children need to be asked if they are happy. If they are not then ask them if gender is in any way the problem? Many are forced to live in the wrong sex and gender simply because people will not ask.
Trans is not a pathology or a problem. Dysphoria or failure to affirm the right to bodily autonomy is the problem. For that reason, ASK! If the answer is yes, make no fuss but just affirm.

People with belief in biological sex send a message to the child which can exacerbate dysphoria to a dangerous level to the child whose life experience tells them what biological sex they really are.

Transgenderism has been discovered even in toddlers. 'Born in the wrong body' is claiming you are in the wrong body since your life began in the womb.

Dysphoria can drive the person to suicide unless their true biological sex or gender is affirmed. If you raise a cis male or cis female in the wrong sex or gender they will suffer as well. To treat dysphoria you must accept the person as they gender or sex or both they say they are and have no doubts or reservations. This is part of community care for the persons.

If children and young people can grow out of gender dysphoria, the fact remains that they believed they were the wrong gender. This had to have caused trauma. Religion contributes to such trauma. It can result in the person thinking they still have dysphoria. Discernment is hard and that is the danger.

A child that is treated with puberty blockers and other treatments will almost certainly continue on the path. The fact remains that even if the child might have stayed in their birth sex or birth gender there is no "wrong" path. A child who was not trans but thought they were trans having treatment and living as the gender they think they are does not matter. The child's happiness is what matters. But a word of caution, happiness is never guaranteed and it is not your place to decide that a child must not have a treatment you cannot see leading to happiness. Choice is choice and you cannot police the choices of others in the name of making them happy.
No child is too young or too immature for treatment. The right to bodily changes is a fundamental one and nobody can speak for a child for the lived experience, the trans experience, is the child's.
Medical treatments and surgeries need to be seen as not mutilating the bodies of children but giving them the form their minds know they should have. The other matter is that it is not about right and wrong unless the child wants it to be. A right to transition without dysphoria must be affirmed.

Gender rights are fundamental human rights so assigning a gender or sex to a child at birth is abuse. Affirmative care for trans only works when this right is "sanctified" and exemplified. Transkid are who they say they are. If they say they are gender fluid then that is true. If they say they are genderless then that is true as well.

It is said that gender is understood in a very stereotyped way. If a girl likes guns she is a boy. If a boy likes makeup sets then he is a girl. I would suggest that it only seems that way. There are huge differences between girl and girl, between boy and boy. It is not about somebody doing something that 'belongs' to another gender. It is about a child who is communicating preferences and is communicating them to say, "My true gender is showing."

The safest way to safeguard and be an ally to trans kids is to recognise that each person is not designed by anybody. But they have the choice to impose design, their design, on themselves to be themselves. There is no such thing as unnatural. All things happen within nature. We are nature and so if we do surgery that is like nature doing it. For that reason trans girls are natural girls. For that reason trans boys are natural boys. Talking about design hurts in two ways. One, it says that the designer may not approve. Nobody can speak for the designer so anybody saying it does does not really help. Second, it says that it is unnatural and as nature is bigger than you what you are doing is going to bring you harm for you cannot really overcome the truth.
True affirmation goes with being atheist.


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